I DON'T WANT TO GO CHEEROBICS2009
Shannon once told me that "WE do not feel nor think, we DECIDE"
I wish I could say "Be glad that I have yet made the decision"
But, its really........
I don't want to go and I can't go
Why?
Don't want - Because I don't see that people actually want to go
Mind you, ONE or TWO person doesn't count
25%? 50%? 75%? 100%?
Can't go - My broken knees
Thou they are really fucking pain every time i do stunts, I still bear with it
Michelle still bear with it because she may not continue doing cheer
but i still want to do cheer for a few more years
Someone once told me that
"At the end of your cheerleading life, you will realised that all your sacrifices to your team is not worth it at all"
Is me bearing the pain worth it?

Well, I can understands that
That's provided that the team doesn't recognize that effort and sacrifices
People are selfish
I can choose to be selfish
I COULD have chosen to be more selfish
I'm growing to be more and more selfish
I mean everyone is selfish now
I train SOLELY for myself
I'm excited over CUPIE & LIBERTY
All I can say is that if there is seriously something wrong with my knees, and there's something i can do to cure it, I will do it
EVEN if it means going for operation and miss a chance to go nationals
Because, I prior my health now more than anything
Because, if my health is affected then I can't continue doing cheerleading
AND
Let's test things out
I SHALL BE THE QUITTER, who quits.
Will the team stays and fight on? or more people will leave?
This shows the spirit of the team
Well, I may look bad
And people may start blaming me for the cause of everyone giving up
but do remember that it reflects how strong your will is
if you quits, it only shows that your love for cheerleading isn't that great
if you quits, it only shows that your love for the team isn't that great
you will look bad too
IF, this brings the team closer. I AM GLAD
IF, the team breaks apart. ITS OK, we can come back again next year
I will still FIGHT ON, for sure
but not at the expense of my knees

shall I be selfish and fight for myself?
shall I be a wonder man who continue fighting a meaningless war?
Give me a meaning to this war because I really can't see it .
YES, I will fight.
This war, I will continue fighting it.
I have already decided, I will continue fighting it.
FIGHT FOR MYSELF



anyway, for the time being
i guess, you won't see me during training
GYM maybe? :)


POST NOTES:
I'm a bad guy
Never the GOOD GUY
So, let me be the FIRST ONE
WHO will step unto this PIT OF DEATH, CONDEMNATION and INSULTS
I do understand that www.kenishere.blogspot.com is MY blog
I also have to understand that it is open to PUBLIC as well
BUT, I'm not going to change my way of doing things
I believe that it's great that I'm NOT AFRAID to state any statement on this blog
Even though, they affect people ALL THE TIMES
Well, outsiders would not be able to understand this
Neither insiders would because I doubt they understand
So, I'm prepare for condemnation, insults and cursing and swearing in front of me and/or behind my back
shoot me if you want